Resisting Arrest- Kid, Don't Do This
A man in Chicago was resisting arrest by throwing knives at police. Apparently distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, the man began smashing car windows and police were called in. After throwing knives at police, the man then he cut off his penis (though police think he may have already done that act before they got there) and threw it at the police. Then he ran back into the house and got more knives to throw at police. Finally, the police tasered him and arrested him. His name: Jakub Fik. Really.
All this was reported in the Chicago-SunTimes.
Now how was he going to get his girlfriend back after that move?
The surgeons successfully reattached Fic's pri--, um, penis. His testicles are undergoing psychiatric counselling for traumatic stress syndrome.