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Friday, April 28, 2006

Join Me In A "Can't Miss" Opportunity

Want to earn massive returns on your investment? Then join me in a new investment opportunity that I am heading. Friends, family and sharp investors are needed for my oil futures fund. We will become rich in no time.

Of course, we should ignore the guys at Cato, Peter Van Doren and Jerry Taylor, who wrote:

While the raw earnings figures sound big, in proportion to the size of those companies, they are unexceptional. Divide profits by sales, for instance, and you'll find that in the fourth quarter of 2005 (the last quarter for which we have data available), profit margins were 6.8 percent at British Petroleum, 7 percent at ConocoPhilips, 7.1 percent at Shell, 7.7 percent at Chevron and 10.7 percent at Exxon Mobil. The 20 largest investor-owned oil companies earned a collective 8.8 cents on every dollar of sales for that quarter.

Now, it's not a stretch to note that the lady who sells us hot dogs on the street probably earns a better profit margin than that. But more to the point, the nation's most prominent critic of "oil profiteering" — Fox News personality Bill O'Reilly — works for a company (News Corp.) that reported a 10.2 percent profit during the fourth quarter of 2005. If you're after really big earners, however, check out Yahoo (a 45.5 percent profit margin), Citigroup (33.4 percent), Intel (24 percent) or Apple (22.7 percent).

Returns on invested capital over a longer time frame are even more telling. Analysts at Goldman Sachs report that returns on investment capital in the oil and gas sector from 1970 to 2003 were less than the U.S. industrial average over that same period.

Fancy, shmancy talk by those eggheads. You know where the real money is being made. And as the head of this group, I will be expecting a $400 million retirement package as well.

3 Comments:

At 3:23 AM, Blogger Scott A. Edwards said...

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At 4:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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